I just recently came into contact with my own ugly demon of anger. Anger has been perceived so many different ways for me over my lifetime.
There is that anger that is explosive in the moment, you know the kind, the instant flash of fire sometimes destroying everything in your vicinity. Then sometimes the rage is turned inwards and depression ensues. Seeping out only in similar situations years down the line.
This is the anger that causes us to hold on, unable to let go of the pain in fear we shall ever experience it again. Living in fear is not something I live with anymore, but then again I seen this on a more mundane level for a long time as the inability to take a chance. I have no problems with taking a chance, what i do have a problem with is letting go.
Pain has a way of being very silent and subtle. A slow soaking within a relationship until the friendship that once was is laden with resentments and misery. many of us dont even know this is occurring until it is way to late.
This is the letting for of the anger that I speak of here. The anger from a hurt caused years ago but now prevents you from moving forward. How do you get past those hurts?
I have done counselling, I have worked every spiritual program under the sun and I have taken courses to help me understand how to let go and move forward. Yet I am still shocked when I am made aware of yet another pain I am holding on to. there is no mass clearing for these hurts, there is no pre-emptive procedure to save you from these moments.
Your sub conscious holds on to things for a reason. Your inner self knows when you are ready and when you are not for the move forward and only until you are ready will you be made aware of a pain that needs to be released in order to move forward.
So what do you do when you stumble upon this pain that has now lost you something you really loved? What do you do with the pain that is bubbling to the surface to be released? How do you work through something you felt you had already let go of?
First off don't run away from the current situation, it is there to help you move through the process, so no matter how ugly it looks keep working at it no matter what emotions come out or how crazy you look to others trust your intuition.
Get on a treadmill. working out your muscles is a very tangible way to release emotions that have been trapped in our cells. A routine cardio work out works wonders in keeping our minds and hearts healthy as well as sweats out the emotions that are coming up to be released. Cry while your working those glutes if you need to, allow the emotions to flow through you.
Go back to the source of the pain and make amends with the people involved. This is not always possible but if it is then you own it to yourself to express yourself, to forgive the other person and to forgive yourself. Sometimes just a letter is enough for your subconscious to let go, you don't need to send it. Clearing the air with friends and family can lead to some really good things if this is an option and if what you want is important enough to you maybe its enough motivation now to deal with what you have been avoiding until now.
After sticking with the current situation, getting physically active and confronting the original pain you can go online and do your homework. Find sites that teach you about self forgiveness, releasing anger, getting past fear and anything else that helps you feel better about yourself and the situation.
We cannot heal all our past hurts in one fell swoop, healing comes in a seeping form. Healing is not about a process you take yourself out of life to preform, healing happens in everyday normal activities. Live your life to the fullest in every moment and your heart will direct you when the time is needed to dig a little deeper to let go of something.
Till then take care of yourself and enjoy life!!