I am really going through a band aid ripping effect with spirituality right now.
I have come to see all the places we can hide in false hopes, numbed feelings and unstable healing modalities just to ignore the truth of our lives and the power of our feelings.
Many of us are never taught how to cope with feelings and even less of us are prepared for what life has in store for us. Living in this world means being open to painful experiences. We hear lots of talk about keeping our hearts open and loving people but many of us close our hearts at a very young age due to trauma.
The rest of our lives we struggle with our weight, with depression in the form of laziness and excessive media exposure, drug/alcohol/sex/gambling/other addictions, co-dependence in the form of marriage, spirituality and religion, and now the new agers have brought wholistic health to the mainstream and along with it all the charlatans that just regenerate other peoples programs with little experience.
All these avenues either masking the feelings or overreacting new ones. Many people struggle to just be and accept life on lifes terms.
There are times in our lives that we truly have no exciting feelings and it just is what it is, yet we feel abnormal so we rush out to a program or a spirituality that will some how lift our spirits. Other times we are surely depressed but refuse to make the necessary changes in our lives that our bodies are demanding of us, so we seek to numb out.
The reasons we come to these places to hide are all for the same reason really. We dont like our lives, they are not living up to our expectations and we have lost gratitude for the magnitude of our humanity. This is why churches are on every corner... to help people find those purposes.
I would like to bring a new option forth... how about the church of self? How about finding a new truth within yourself. Millions of people are getting it just by hitting the gym daily. Not to become a new place to hide but to get in touch with your own body, with your own senses. to open yourself up to your own intuition.
Eating well for your self, whatever that looks like and placing your attention on your own body will bring you into a new alignment. Through this alignment you might begin to notice how much you were hiding in a program of thoughts that kept you trapped.
Hope is a dangerous one and the one I am coming out of right now. Hope creates illusions that when taken to far begin to alienate you from the world for which you must function in. When a spirituality or modality begins to isolate you then there is a hiding going on and one will get lost in the grip of self righteousness and thats never a pretty place to be. Co-dependents love this place for they can escape decision making and taking responsibility for themselves.
I feel like I am finally stepping out of that place where I need to hide from the world. Now when I say that I mean, fully showing up for the world... heart open and losing the fear to be hurt and losing an even deeper fear of repeating the past. I really believe we can live without patterns in our lives that we can truly just live without the constant repeating pain nor the hiding from it either.
We do not need to re-create our past and we do not need to keep our heart on a love lock down.
Of course we must walk through it first and for some that will be a seven year cycle, but once you have moved through it, the freedom on the other side is karmic release. I feel that as the millennials age we lose this dualistic nature and are being moved into a more loving and accepting place where people dont have to hide in order to feel safe.
We all speak about peace but all we have done is hide ourselves from anything not pleasant.... its time to fight the final war. The one raging inside you. Time to face your truth and step out of it.
Its time to just live. Go to the gym, eat well, pay your bills, take care of your responsibilities. Then you will feel a passion build inside you.... follow it. That is your truth. Look for the good in your life and other people and this is what you will find. Basics. Keep it simple. Keep it basic. The rest will take care of itself.
I just recently came into contact with my own ugly demon of anger. Anger has been perceived so many different ways for me over my lifetime.
There is that anger that is explosive in the moment, you know the kind, the instant flash of fire sometimes destroying everything in your vicinity. Then sometimes the rage is turned inwards and depression ensues. Seeping out only in similar situations years down the line.
This is the anger that causes us to hold on, unable to let go of the pain in fear we shall ever experience it again. Living in fear is not something I live with anymore, but then again I seen this on a more mundane level for a long time as the inability to take a chance. I have no problems with taking a chance, what i do have a problem with is letting go.
Pain has a way of being very silent and subtle. A slow soaking within a relationship until the friendship that once was is laden with resentments and misery. many of us dont even know this is occurring until it is way to late.
This is the letting for of the anger that I speak of here. The anger from a hurt caused years ago but now prevents you from moving forward. How do you get past those hurts?
I have done counselling, I have worked every spiritual program under the sun and I have taken courses to help me understand how to let go and move forward. Yet I am still shocked when I am made aware of yet another pain I am holding on to. there is no mass clearing for these hurts, there is no pre-emptive procedure to save you from these moments.
Your sub conscious holds on to things for a reason. Your inner self knows when you are ready and when you are not for the move forward and only until you are ready will you be made aware of a pain that needs to be released in order to move forward.
So what do you do when you stumble upon this pain that has now lost you something you really loved? What do you do with the pain that is bubbling to the surface to be released? How do you work through something you felt you had already let go of?
First off don't run away from the current situation, it is there to help you move through the process, so no matter how ugly it looks keep working at it no matter what emotions come out or how crazy you look to others trust your intuition.
Get on a treadmill. working out your muscles is a very tangible way to release emotions that have been trapped in our cells. A routine cardio work out works wonders in keeping our minds and hearts healthy as well as sweats out the emotions that are coming up to be released. Cry while your working those glutes if you need to, allow the emotions to flow through you.
Go back to the source of the pain and make amends with the people involved. This is not always possible but if it is then you own it to yourself to express yourself, to forgive the other person and to forgive yourself. Sometimes just a letter is enough for your subconscious to let go, you don't need to send it. Clearing the air with friends and family can lead to some really good things if this is an option and if what you want is important enough to you maybe its enough motivation now to deal with what you have been avoiding until now.
After sticking with the current situation, getting physically active and confronting the original pain you can go online and do your homework. Find sites that teach you about self forgiveness, releasing anger, getting past fear and anything else that helps you feel better about yourself and the situation.
We cannot heal all our past hurts in one fell swoop, healing comes in a seeping form. Healing is not about a process you take yourself out of life to preform, healing happens in everyday normal activities. Live your life to the fullest in every moment and your heart will direct you when the time is needed to dig a little deeper to let go of something.
Till then take care of yourself and enjoy life!!