Do you allow your energy to leak through unsupported relationships?
Hmm... what does that mean? How would you know your giving away your power within an unhealthy relationship(s)?
Bills pilling up unpaid?
Job duties going untended?
Responsibilities sliding down your priority list?
Dishes piled in your sink?
Laundry getting seriously out of control?
Neglecting Self care?
Ugh, and again here I am. Stupid fucking cycles.
How did I let it get this bad? How did , preacher of the self care routines, allow all of this to fall off my priority list and into an energy vacuum?
Well for those of you who know me well I am sure you are already thinking the words I am about to say..... A boy. Yup a boy once again caused me to lose myself within the confines of my gigantic insecurities. Thoughts and feelings that cause me to redirect my entire energy resources towards.
Why does that happen time and time again?? Why do I get so excited and happy in love that I forget that I got to that happiness from doing all those self care things?? Why then when all my energy starts to drizzle do i place the rest of it into my waste basket of over sized low self worth thoughts and ideals?
Because I am human and have human emotions....... and like a child, as we are taught to become like again, I get lost in the shiny fun things of life and forget to take care of myself.
Its not really a big deal though. I have no regrets of that occurring I had fun with my male friend. I ended it before it totally consumed me and for that I have built a trust in myself. I will ride any experience train until it crosses my line. I know my lines.
However on another level and layer there was an issue of me not being real and authentic with my feelings. That truly is what I want to rant about here.
I am seriously losing some big emotional cookies over the fact that people cannot be authentic to their feelings, until of course they hit menopause or get pregnant or some situation that gives them freedom to express unquestioned. And please know present company largely included. I was so willing to allow someone else to move me through a situation with their feelings as a guide that I lost my own feelings in the process. That is not okay!!
I think many of us get caught up in somebody elses' life play that we forget we are creators of our own dramas and do not need to play supporting character if that is not our wish. For me I thought it was my wish because I believed that was the reward for the love I was sharing with this person..... amazing how deeply we can project our desires upon another person and how willing the other person is to allow us to do this in order to live in our blissful energy.
Its not an attack on energy vampires, as I have attacked on many occasions, no this was a great give and take of painful energy to hold us both to a paradigm that served a larger purpose for a long time. However it absorbed so much of my energy that my life went into bit of a disarray. Which truly no harm no foul, this is what life is about, ups and downs. Balance is for when we are dead.
Life when lived is anything but balance, life is about experiences and those are sometimes messy! Like real messy. My poor Male friends brain must be imploding today with all the words I dropped in there like little time bombs meant to go off every few days like clock work. Don't fuck with my heart, is all I gotta say.
Not proud of myself for losing my cool like I did, but not gonna feel bad about it either.... why cause he got a lot of free energy, advice and support within those four years. A little energy play in the end to recoup some of my losses is in my right to collect. Not a positive light a fluffy white lighter feeling, but at least I was real.... messy and painful, but real and necessary for my own light to shine and his to be found.
So how then can one stay authentic to their feelings so those yucky situations dont have to occur in the first place?
With Scorpio new moon fueling us right now its easy, get honest with what you truly feel. And then express it. No matter how messy it is. Write it down, journal it, express it through art or dance... however you need to get it out, do so. If you need to speak that truth to someone who is offending you, then don't be afraid to do so. Plan out what you need to say and then just do it. Know that your words will effect that other person and be prepared for the outcome, which might be messy as well.
Living a lie or against your feelings is a way worse feeling then having to pick up the pieces of a shattered illusion..... well it is for me anyways. You can do what you want.
But now to get back to closing up those leaks that I allowed to get out of control, brings me back to the preacher of self care. Time to attend to my responsibility and get life back on track!!
Thanks for letting me Share!
When are not so fluffy feelings to be expressed and when are they to be flipped to a positive to create a better situation for yourself?
I have been picking on the White Lighter community a bit lately. I am not trying to devalue their quest for flipping the negative to the positive but I am concerned with their lack of movement within a program as it is now outdated.
Becoming complacent or getting comfortable on ones journey is the kiss of death and the reason things turn toxic for many people. Letting Go is a very real issue for us as a 1st world society. Trapping ourselves into an outdated belief is one of those folds.
Twenty years ago when this New Age movement started it was very much about 'The Secret' and moving ones thoughts from an uncontrolled negative loop into a more positive you create what you think paradigm. It was so beneficial and very much needed at that time in our evolution. We are incredible creators with the advent of the computer and an accelerated speed of human development because of those first wave Indigo children and their positive thoughts theory.
However today the large body of white lighters still holding on to that outdated belief system is bringing a stagnant energy to the collective consciousness that is causing fake plastic happy people.
If your situation is terrible a few affirmations of intention and a positive thought or two and a deep meditation to bring about what you wish to experience instead is all one needs to flip that around. This may be true in some circumstances but overall this no longer works. We cannot just sit and think happy thoughts and ignore the feelings of displeasure.
We as white lighters, yes I was very much one, have taught people to ignore anything perceived as negative within us. We are role models of the happiness paradigm, we can make any situation Joyful just by controlling our thoughts and thus our emotions within the shitty situation. Believing that by being positive and accepting ones fate that the universe will see our pleasure and bring us what we desire. Unfortunately what that vibration brings is more sorrow masquerading as happiness. And a gratitude list that is getting more and more reaching to fill out at the end of the night.
Shadow work and healing is okay in its place and time and must be contained to a certain boundary code, but shall those feelings leak out over that line we drew as acceptable, quick zap it with a white light pouring down from heaven and our bubbles will be safe again. Spend time in nature and all will be washed from your emotional field and you will be a ray of sunshine to continue on your white light mission.
I can no longer adhere to these principals as my negative feelings always find a way to manifest themselves in my life no matter how much belief i have in something positive and white and good. I have so much experience over the past seven years of how terribly powerful unexpressed dark feelings are in ones life. So much so that if you are unwilling to expereince them your children, partner or loved ones will enact them for you. Emotions are nothing but energy in motion if your not willing to work with the movement of them then they will find another energetic platform... your closest human connection, your job, your passion. Dark emotions CANNOT be white-lighted away. I know I have spent many years working through this.
This is where we are starting to see so many women bringing in their wild nature and spreading their words of embracing their dark as much as their light. I love these women so much. We must honor our negative feelings, we must honor all aspects of ourselves and we must EXPRESS those aspects as well. Otherwise those feelings will express through us.
Being authentic and real is the only way we can truly tap into our higher self or our God consciousness. There is no negative or positive in that vibration. I truly believe we are smart enough as a human race to now realize that if for an extended period of time we are miserable and infecting everyone around us with nasty little toxic vibrations our reality will go to shit and we will only have ourselves to blame for it. Everyone aware person can pretty much accept this as fact.
But so what. Who are we to judge if another person chooses to live from that place. You have the power to move away from that person if you do not want to share that reality.
I just spent a week miserable and angry at my little world. That energetic vibration caused some problems for me at work and after a week of it I could no longer stand the pain the outside world was reflecting back to me so I had to flip my frustration. But i was content that first I felt it, honored it and even expressed it before I flipped it. And now today all is well in my work place.... just like that. i stayed present with my feelings and allowed them the space to run their course.
Bringing balance back to a pendulum swing that was very necessary twenty years ago is where we are at today. Many Guru's that are still wildly popular today are outdated in many of their teachings, many programs that you once were part of that are no longer working for you, but you have become accustomed to, must be let go.
To thrive in ones life the journey must be a constant ever moving one if a person is to evolve. Lovers that stop working on their marriages get divorced. So to is the spiritual journey. Weight loss clients that accomplish their goal weights must move into maintenance in order to keep it off. It is the same for a spiritual personal development one must keep moving forward and let go of old programs that no longer serve where they are in their development. I see this the most in programs of sobriety and the statement once an addict always an addict. Nothing could be further from the truth. One must learn how to be skinny as much as one must learn how to not let drugs or alcohol be their first go to when life gets to them.
Staying in a looping cycle brings about complacency and a comfort level that stops ones growth. Once a growth cycle is ignited, to stop growing means to begin to decay, to die back. Many people choose to stop growing and accept their choice to die back and for them this is okay. However it is the people that hold to their decay like it is still the way to the future and spread that death to others who once followed them that concern me the most.
I read an article on Deepak Chopra's site about how to find a Guru. It went into the differences of a Teacher to a Guru. A teacher is someone with knowledge but lacks the full experience. A Guru is one with full experience and can see the entire picture. But there was a warning... if a Guru is preaching they have reached enlightenment run like hell away from them. Those are the people who have stopped growing and are about to start spreading that death. Growth never stops once we start the journey.
White lighters must move into accepting all feelings and situations as acceptable and maybe even great. I was in my glory being a bitch last week. My bitch served a purpose, procedures and boundaries needed to be changed within my work environment. My perceived negative emotion worked towards bringing about change. I wasn't hurting anyone, only myself really but it was a really good outlet and now today my bliss is tenfold. Learning to ride the waves of experience and not trying to control so much would bring this world into a really great place of our evolution.
It is time to let go of the reins and enjoy the breeze and maybe even delight in the storm that is coming. Because in the end.... this too shall pass.
What do we have power to manifest in our lives and what is out of our control? How does the universe supply our needs, how does God answer our Prayers? What thoughts are ours and what are influenced by other energies outside ourselves? Is anything outside of ourselves?
I have been playing around with these questions lately. I was alerted to the thought that some of our instant manifestations of seemingly simple things may not actually manifested from our own desires but those of the energetic bodies around us. Let me explain....
I was just watching an interview with a very well known TV persona and she was talking about manifesting a bowl of Tomato soup one day. She was in her home and her caretaker just after the thought occurred to her, "oh man I would love a bowl of tomato soup", brought her over a homemade bowl of soup. She was amazed at her power to create instantly.
My daughter having a similar experience brought forth a brand new bike she won at a rally after asking me for a new bike the day before. On several occasions I have experienced the same phenomenon, as I am fairly certain you have too.
But how come it does not happen every single time we couple a thought with a feeling? The art of manifestation and "The Secret' have gone into great detail on how to work with the universal energies to make real instantly your thoughts. So how come every desire you have isn't instantly manifested like that?
After a week in deep thought about this and years of learning what are my thoughts and what are the thoughts of my higher power or guides, I have come to learn that those instant manifestations are a vibration or an implanted thought that comes to you right before the manifestation occurs. Which means that the manifestation was already there for you before your thought was. The thought came from either the vibration of the energy heading towards you, like in the case of the tomato soup, or it was a gift from the universe that your spirit guide or higher self couldn't wait to tell you about so informed you before the event occurred.
So how then does creating our own reality play into this or vice versa? Our thoughts do indeed create our reality, but where do our thoughts come from I think is the deeper question here. And how long does it take the universe to manifest some of our thoughts?
Many of our thoughts are generated by past influences or by the collective consciousness (media and social collective). Thoughts are often associated with patterns and beliefs and are reoccurring. That is how we learn to take responsibility for our actions and therefor what is happening in our world. If we see the world a certain way because of what we have experienced in the past many of us will continue to experience that until we change the vibration of who we are through a change in lifestyle. Those are the big reality creations everyone including myself is always going on about.
But where do those thoughts like my daughters bike come from? Who told her she wanted a brand new bike? I am sure it was a latent desire within her but to speak it is not my child's style and definitely not at that moment in our lives when we were living really skinny financially. She would have never dared bring that into my focus because emotionally I was on shaky ground. However the desire was so strong in her it over rode her know better guidance system. Did she have a little angel on her shoulder that spoke that reality into her mind?
I believe it was something of that sort. It was an energetic vibration that triggered her latent desire for a new bike as opposed to second hand the way we normally roll. It was the potential that it was around the corner that allowed her to pick up on the fact that this was there for the taking and if she wanted it the universe would make sure it was given to her.
I believe that we can only manifest on that level in that time frame when the object or situation we desire is right there for the taking. It is an already created situation up for grabs for whomever wants it.
I have a friend that is always amused by my ability to manifest because I go on emotional rampages and create my desires instantly. What he see's is my want and within days that want being satisfied. What he doesn't understand however is the universe is delivering what is available at that very moment that match my energetic vibration. And truly my want is much deeper and my desire much higher then what it is indeed that I am drawing towards me. If it is not in my best interest my higher self, my God self cannot bring that forth on a higher consciousness level, only on the level for which I have already established connection.
This would be an example of people that are used to manifesting money easily. it just comes to them without effort now because they have established that vibrational connection. However ask them to manifest something they do not vibrate with and watch how long it takes their God selves to bring them into alignment with that vibration.... takes a bit longer to draw those experiences forward.
Everything occurs on a vibratory level. This I know as truth. This month as the witches new year draws closer and the veil between the worlds thins I am researching how vibration connects with spirit guides and energies forms from beyond the physical understanding we have. My question posed at the beginning of this post will be explored further then.
How are those thoughts planted in our minds? Is it indeed just a vibration that was coming to us or are their guides around us truly directing our life experiences to keep us on track for our missions and to bring a little extra joy along the way?
Stay tuned I guess and watch for a post in the beginning of November with my conclusions. Until then what do you believe?
The negative experiences we face, unfortunately are of our own making. Unless your fully conscious and understand this truth, hearing it is never easily accepted.
We are in an era where we are all about white light and positive thoughts. An age where the flow within universal energies have become a scapegoat for our failed manifestations.
I am being faced with these outdated concepts of creation every where I go lately. I am getting pretty heated under the collar that we as a collective have moved away from the God in the Sky being responsible for our outcomes in life, to the universal collective providing the painful 'lessons' instead.
Neither is accurate. What is accurate is taking responsibility for your own actions and being true to yourself and learning what you are the best at in this life and preforming that. Creating from a place of YOUR desires and living in REAL joy.
I read once in Conversations with God, by Neale Donald Walsh, that Life is not a school and lessons are not an accurate portrayal of how creation and manifestation work. I put his book down right then and there because my belief was so strong about lessons that I debunked everything he had to say after that. Now several years later I think I am going to pick up his book again and take another gander at what he learnt in his journey to the underworld.
Life is meant to be enjoyed and loved. This is where the white lighters are right. However we cannot force that joy out of bad situations. We are just using the power of our mind to ignore the truth behind the situation. That is just another form of dissociation. Not interested thanks. The Truth of finding joy in all your situations is by making the choices that bring you to that joy.
Many of us want the great life but we are not willing to put the work into having it. And that work is not suffering. That boils me up inside when people feel the have to be in a certain amount of pain in order to change. Like pain equals humility and to be humble brings about peace. Not truth. To make a choice to be happy isn't easy because it means leaving behind a way of life you have become accustomed too. That is the work needed to bring about the joy. Not to be in pain first and then to find relief from that pain in some program.
Taking responsibility for our lives and our choices is the first level of awakening. When we are fully conscious to our lives, when our awareness is so keen to the consequences of our choices we have no choice but to live a more authentic life. Your higher self, deep subconscious, God consciousness will not allow you to veer very far off path because the consequences to a bad choice are so painful to your spirit that you must make a new choice or risk falling into a forced depression or worse an abusive situation.
Making choices to be happy for many of us mean making a choice that is going to hurt another person or stretch us far past our comfort zones. For the married woman who is dying inside to be happy means to leave her once great lover. Never an easy choice. To the overworked boss that has come to hate his job, to make a choice to be happy means putting his family at risk of financial despair. Not an easy choice. To be the passionate woman who wants to step into her healing role means to leave the conventional job for an unrealized path. All hard choices to make for Joy.
For most people its just better to survive with a painted face until the time comes that the choice will be made for us. unfortunately that time normally never comes and they are just patiently walking the safest route to death.
I dont know about you but that is not how I chose to live my life. It doesn't really matter if I am successful on my chosen path or not as long as I am getting up in the morning happy to be alive and having a sense of self worth that I can be proud of myself for. Because waking up everyday angry or worse yet...... numb, is a fate worse the death for me.
When we make the choices that bring us joy, when we become self aware, when we connect into our consciousness our dreams manifest on their own without any hard work or painful lessons. Life becomes a playground, a place that amuses and intrigues us every day. A place where we enjoy our work, fall in love with our dream partners, raise our incredible kids and pursue the deepest desires of our hearts.
All of this happens with no judgment of right or wrong, good or bad. Because conscious people live by an unspoken code of ethics that doesn't need constant policing. To live from this place is to live in total freedom. Can you imagine a world were we were all living this total freedom?
Well you can start those chain of events to that future right now. All you have to do is make the hard choices now that lead you to that happiness and let go of that plastic white lighter face of submission. And to stop believing in an energy outside of yourself that is doing the creating for you.
The power is yours. You can change your world!
We all make statements of intent regularly. "I hate going to your parents, I never have a good time". "I am gonna get fat if I eat that". "I hate winter there is nothing to do"
When we state an intent for an experience we are effectively telling the powers that be, whatever you choose to believe in, even if it is just vibrational energy, what we are willing to experience in that moment.
When every time you go to his parents house and you hate it, thats the vibration you will create each and every time. Even if it does suck, your not helping things by keeping the vibration there or dropping. Its the same with always thinking you will get fat when you eat a certain food. And why skinny people can eat the same food and not gain weight.... they dont tell themselves every time they eat it, they will have negative effects from it.
The statement of intent is so powerful that it can and will change the contents of a situation. To pray over ones food is said to bless and make whole and healthy their food. The belief is so strong that it becomes the truth of their reality, thus powerful in creating the feelings you want to experience..... health from your food.
I have a friend, Rene Hamilton, he owns inner soul technologies. when ever we would hang out together he would bless my food or drink to increase the vibrational properties of the item. I always felt incredible in his energy and have experienced first hand the energy moving into the pendants he creates. The power of intention is what he bases his life on.
To state an intent that is serving your highest power, and an intention that moves you into experiences that help you and bring you joy is to truly begin the chain of events to the future you have always envisioned for yourself.
Creating a clear statement takes a couple considerations.
What is the time frame your looking at? Using concepts like Now as oppose to Then create a very different outcome. I used to state intents like, "I want to fall in love!" That was it. I would visualize it, dream it, journal about it, pray about it, and affirm it constantly. The universe knew I wanted to fall in love and was so happy I wanted that. Until the universe realized I wanted it Now. It instead was fantasizing with me cause I never gave it a time frame I wanted this intent to work within.
When I am in a current situation, like having dinner with a friend, I state something like "This dinner will be wonderful with my great friend!" Instead of, "I am gonna have a good time". Because that good time might not come until after the huge embarrassing blow out you and him have right before him ditching you with the bill and a table full of uneaten food.
Timelines are needed to know the parameters you have to work within, as well your higher power of course. We are moving into an era where time will change and everything will be much slower yet more will be achieved in that time, this is the first step to slowing down our minds.
After your timeline is determined then its about creating what you want and not letting the image of what you do Not want to cloud your desires. We all tend to feel fear a bit more acutely then we do happiness or joy, so that tends to be what we create as we allow our feelings and thoughts to mash. We need to flip that nasty little habit.
Intend what it is you want. "I want to fall in love Now.... with someone who feels the same about me!!" Now that is a statement of intent. But what I would always see before was all the ways in which i didn't deserve love or was not good enough for it. So it was the short half statement above. " I want to fall in love"
To get clear on what you desire first you must recover the fear. That hidden belief in there that tells you the opposite of what you desire is what you deserve. The limiting belief that holds you back and tells you your not good enough. The childhood voice that told you, you were less then. Those are the things you need to pluck before you can dive into your intention.
On a peice of paper draw a line down the center length of the sheet. In the first column write what you want. In the second column write down why you do not have it yet or what has stopped you for creating it.
Take that limiting belief and bring your full awareness to where it came from and why it has stuck? Sit with it for a time that is comfortable for you then let it go. Then go back and create a full flipped statement of intent.
Creating an intent for a large expereince like falling in love take some soul searching. A simpler intent of having a good dinner with a friend is a statement that wont need a recovery belief to be expelled, but dinner with his parents might warrant a bit of a dig.
To change current repetitive situations one must do a bit of work to get the intent to stick with the universe. We are never lazy in our part of co-creation. For me to fall in love I needed first to find value in myself and to be able to give that to someone..... took a bit of work. My original time frame of Now brought me some less then worthy men. I had to relax my time frame to match the work I had to do to be ready for what I was asking.
Changing your in-laws might not happen but your own understanding and acceptance of the situation would be needed to, in order for that intention to flip, then you would be amazed at how much the in laws indeed would change. We teach people how to treat us. Statements of intent help us stay focused on that and to illicit all the extra energetic help you can get.
Once you state your intent you need to follow through and stay congruent with the vibration your wanting to step into. It's like wearing a suit to a job interview. Its the impression you want to make. Becoming congruent with your intent shows the world you are serious. About falling in love, I was willing to date and make eye contact with men on the street and smile when a guy noticed me. I had to learn how to flirt and feel light and in love. I had to do these things before I fell in love and oddly enough it is what I enjoy most about falling in love.
Get congruent with what you want. After that, All you need to do is take a deep breath and plunge into the experience!!
Give it a try with your next situation you really want to make an impact with. Begin with little things like enjoying your bath tonight or that glorious cup of David's tea. Every moment of every day could be an intended moment. Imagine how great your life would be if you had full control over your every experience in each moment!! You would surely be on your way to creating your very desires.
Are you breathing? Right Now?
Did you just pause to take a deeper breath? If you did, good. That means your someone who understands the importance of breath and even if you don't, your inner knowing guide that takes such good care of you makes sure you breath on a regular bases.
Why is this something that needs to be brought to awareness?
Most of us in fact hardly breath deeply enough. We lack the needed amount of oxygen our brain or any other muscle in our body require to function properly. Some of us breath in toxic or polluted air instead of deep healthy clean breath. Toxic and polluted air being a jab at the smokers that still exist out there. Some of us are just so busy and stressed out that our breath is fast and shallow to keep us in a perpetuated state of manic just to get through our days.
It is much more common then you realize how little we actually fuel our bodies with breath. It is a bit more alarming when we realize that breath is the only thing we cannot live without for any amount of time. We can go without food for months, water for days, yet breath is just mere moments.
Of course we all breath. It like our heart pumping blood, it is a subconscious action that we need not even pay attention to. These kinds of functions of our body or mind only become a concern when they become restricted to us. Like when our heart is clogged and it no longer wants to beat properly or we are short of breath because of a lung disease.
Yet taking conscious breathes are that preventative medicine that the doctor tries to tell you about, but the inner critic within you reassures you that nothing bad shall ever happen to you even though you smoke a pack a day. ...... Or, that I will do it tomorrow kind of practice.
I challenge you to take another deep breath right now.
You have become more aware of your breath already just in these short few seconds. It really is that easy to begin to shift into a new level of consciousness. By being aware of your breath you are actively taking part in an event that normally you unconscious mind would just do for you. This active shift you took just now to take control of a few breathes, brought you into a more connected state of consciousness.
When we go into our subconscious/unconscious we actually enter into our God consciousness. It is within this conscious state that we create our own realities, where we slow down and begin to successfully create those dreams we have been trying to manifest. It is this place we find that peace and happiness we have been looking all over for. It is from this place of suspended conscious breathing that we find the Love we have been seeking. ...... And once we find all these things within us, they within short time begin to show up on the door steps of our reality as well.
When we conscious breath and slow our thoughts down, we allow space for our God consciousness to guide us to what it is our hearts truly desire.
I practice daily an Eastern Mantra, Sat Nam. It means Truth within Me. I breath in Sat and I breath out Nam. I do this during my yoga practice each day as the instructor prompts me to breath. I do this when I get angry, anxious or frustrated. I am doing this right now as I type. I do it while I wait for my daughter to get out of class after school. I do this with my friends to slow them down when they are racing.
The very very simple act of breathing in Sat Nam and letting all my thoughts fall to the wayside is a reprogramming action for your subconsciousness. It is a way for you to connect to your higher power without the chatter of your inner critic or noise in your head. Its a way for spirit to begin to communicate with you.
We have polluted our energy with fast foods, fast toys, fast debts, fast friends and fast lovers. We have lost touch with the basic needs of living. To just breath, to just Love and to Just be happy. We have lost these things which are the key ingredients to connecting with your highest self, your God, Your higher Power.
You will find that when you connect to those basic needs, your life will ramp up into an even better scenario then you are in now. Your ability to achieve more in a day will triple and your existence will be stress free. It will actually blow your mind.
It is as easy as taking a conscious deep breath every day to the words Sat Nam to start those chain of events that will create the future you have always dreamed of having.